Decision
by Riko Ozaki
Summary: The third, and final chapter of Decision.
1. Chapter 1

Decision

By Riko Ozaki

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**Disclaimer:**

The characters portrayed herein are copyrighted to Anno Hideki and Studio Gainax. They are not my creations. If asked, I will pull this prose from the internet if it offends them.

Please excuse any mistakes which I may have made due to syntax and punctuation; English is not my primary language.

Thank you for reading, and please review. It helps me to progress in learning a new language, and prods me to be a better author.

This story was pre-read by 94Saturn, Jintsu, and Ikarus Onesun. Unfortunately, I did not receive Onesun-san's reply before this went to press.

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The archway of majestic cedars let a warm diffused light into the small clearing of this forest grove. A well-worn path of paving stones interspersed with ancient moss showed the way to this final resting place of those with no more cares or worries in this world. This clearing was located high above the newly-restored city of Tokyo-3, a short distance from the area known as the Terraces.

It had been three years since the failed attempt at Third Impact, and the world had slowly begun to heal from the excesses of man in his search to become like God. Many people who were thought to have died had miraculously been brought back to life, with no idea how they had been spared the trip over the river Styx. The only individual on the planet with the knowledge of how that had happened now stood squarely in the middle of the path into the quiet glen.

Ikari Shinji had changed over those last three years. Gone was the innocent, shy schoolboy. In his place was a grown man, with all the cares, worries, and baggage that all adults struggle to deal with on a daily basis. His boyish features had matured and hardened into a rough equivalent of his father's visage at seventeen. This was accentuated by the aviator-style prescription glasses hooked over his ears and perched comfortably upon the bridge of his nose. Missing from the younger Ikari also was his penchant for his school uniform. In its place that day, was a three-piece grey suit bearing tags from Versace, brown Italian loafers, and a ponytail which would have made Kaji Ryoji proud.

Adjusting his matching grey-striped tie slightly, and using his right hand to slick back his hair, he slowly walked into the small grotto of calmness. Glancing to the left, past the shrine gates, he noticed a caretaker /gardener slowly and calmly clipping grass which had started to overgrow one of the rantobas. The caretaker was kneeling on kneepads; a green samue as clothing with black socks and traditional straw zori sandals. Green gardening gloves and a wide-brimmed straw hat rounded out the ensemble, and ensured that their body was totally covered.

"Must not like the sun, or be allergic to it, but that must be hot for them." Shinji thought with some compassion, as he then pushed the caretaker from his thoughts and returned to the main reason for his visit.

Turning to his right, he gazed upon the rectangle of stone inset into the ground. Taking six slow steps, he then knelt down to read again the name inscribed upon the stone. He rolled her name around in his mind, recalling their times together, and then voiced his thoughts out loud in a soft voice.

"It has been three years since that awful time in Tokyo-3. I'm glad to say that things have gotten better since the last time I visited you. The sessions with the psychotherapist helped me see what I was doing to myself, and opened my eyes to the changes I needed to make. It's been hard, but I feel like a new person. You probably wouldn't even know me if you could meet me now." he stated with a slight up-beat tone.

The caretaker stopped their cutting of grass, and slightly turned their head in the direction of the one-sided conversation.

"But there are some things that are still keeping me from gaining a sense of closure on this whole mess." Shinji slowly sighed as his right hand clenched and relaxed unconsciously at his side. His calm façade cracked as he dredged up the past and stared at it with an iron resolve.

"Why didn't you come back? Everyone else did. Even that rat-bastard of a non-existent father of mine chose to return! I lay awake at night wondering if I said or did something to keep you from returning."

Looking down, he saw small droplets of water that had splashed on the stone with the engraved kanji : "Ayanami Rei -2016".

"I remember the first time we met...as father tried to force you to pp...pilot Unit-01. I think...NO; I _know _that I felt something for you at that point. And then before the fifth Angel, how we talked before the attack. And after I killed the Angel and thought I had lost you...my heart was frozen in my chest. But then to see you alive, to see you smile for me..."

The caretaker bowed their own head, feeling the remorse that emanated from the young man, as some of their raven-black hair came free from under their hat.

"...After the sixteenth Angel, and finding out that it wasn't _you _in that body, I...I...just felt as though my world ended. I guess what they say is true: a person does not know what they have, until they lose that most important thing to them. Of all the people I wanted back, you were the one that I felt _needed _a second chance, Rei. But it seems that I failed in that, also. I am so sorry, Rei..."

With this last comment, Shinji reverently leaned forward until his forehead rested upon the rantoba; his hands clutched grass tufts on either side of the stone. His tears then fell unabated as he finally broke down and openly wept for the person that meant so much to him. For the first time in over three years, Ikari Shinji loosened the steel bands around his heart, and finally gave himself over to mourning his lost love. He remained that way for almost two minutes, as his short, racking sobs echoed through the clearing.

Finally gaining some self-control back, he wiped his eyes clear of tears and sat back on his heels. With a look of determination now firmly planted upon his visage, he shakily stated:

"I just wanted to tell you this Rei, because I may not be back for a while. With the help of my psychotherapist, I have finally come to terms with my past, and I am ready to move forward with my life."

Shinji then carefully stood, still looking down at the stone. His voice steadying and his resolve growing, he clasped his right hand with his left behind his back and whispered, "I will be moving to the outskirts of Hiroshima-2 and starting college this spring semester. I would have liked to think that we might have been going to school together again, but I guess it was never meant to be."

He then stepped toward the new marker placed slightly to the right of the rantoba and gently caressed the face of it. Etched into the granite face of the tombstone he had purchased two days ago were the names: Ayanami Rei 30/03/2001? - 01/01/2016, and Ikari Shinji 06/06/2001 - ; his kanji being overlaid with a coat of Chinese-red paint. Even though they were never married, he felt that the old tradition of placing his name on her monument would show the world how he felt about the cerulean-haired enigma.

In his mind, it just felt right to do this, and gave him that sense of closure he so desperately needed to put this last link with the past behind him.

The young man then grasped the cold piece of stone in both hands as he raised his gaze to the heavens and closed his eyes.

"You will _always_ be with me in my heart, Rei. I will never forget you. I love you. Goodbye."

Shinji released his grip on the memorial, opened his eyes, and turned to leave the graveyard. He passed by the gardener, not even noticing that they were still there. As he slowly walked away, down the light-dappled path between the cedars, a small noise was uttered from the area of the shrine. Shinji disappeared into the distance, hands in pockets, and the noise became a stuttering sob.

The caretaker stood up and looked longingly after the image of the young man, her brown eyes with golden scintillations puffy and swollen from crying.

A _black_-haired and _brown_-eyed Rei Ayanami.

"Shinji..."

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Author's Notes:

Memorial services for the deceased are held on the 1st anniversary of death, after which the 3rd the 7th and the 17th anniversaries are usually observed with somewhat elaborate ceremonies.

Samue: Traditional Japanese work clothing, or Monk's robes. "" (Samu) means everyday labor work as practiced by Zen Buddhists, and "" (e) means clothing. The samue was originally designed to offer freedom of movement and comfort. (Sorry if the kanji do not show-up; blame it on FFN and Microsoft Word.)

A rantoba is a grave marker or stone where the departed soul is worshipped.

When a married person dies before his or her spouse, the name of the spouse may also be engraved on the stone, with the letters painted red. After the death and the burial of the spouse the red ink is removed from the stone. It can also be seen as a sign that they are waiting to follow their spouse into the grave.

Ozaki Riko Page 5 1/25/2008


	2. Chapter 2

Decision

Chapter II

By Riko Ozaki

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**Disclaimer:**

The characters portrayed herein are copyrighted to Anno Hideki and Studio Gainax. They are not my creations. If asked, I will pull this prose from the internet if it offends them.

Please excuse any mistakes which I may have made due to syntax and punctuation; English is not my primary language.

Thank you for reading, and please review. It helps me to progress in learning a new language, and prods me to be a better author.

This chapter was pre-read by 94Saturn, Rose1948, and Jintsu.

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The sun was shining brightly as the tram car bumped and swayed its way up the cable towards the top of Mount Futago. The sole passenger of the car rested her head between the glass window and her left hand. Staring out into the verdant foliage of the mountain, she remembered the violence that was visited upon these hills four years ago. Nature had removed the scars and replaced them with teal-colored new growth. The mountain was still a bit lop-sided, but had returned to its fully overgrown self.

The young woman sighed in remembrance, thinking about past lives and past chances. How she had met a young man that had cared for her, and had taken her place in a major battle, so that she might live. In her mind's eye she went over every detail of that encounter: the pain she felt as she was thrown from the hospital gurney, the loving-kindness he shared with her as he cradled her body from harm. Her eyes stinging as she remembered her last thought as Unit-00 self-destructed to save him from the evil which should never touch him.

The car creaked and groaned to a stop at the terminus of the line, and Ayanami Rei gathered her small bag of clothing and exited the tram. Walking up the five stairs to the worn path on the side of the mountain, she gazed at her surroundings. In front of her was a path which led into a cedar forest, majestic in their width and height. To the left was the normal high-alpine forest. To her right was the sheer cliff of the summit of the mountain. With a slow, measured pace, she strode down the path between the cedars. Sunlight played hide-and-seek with her face and birdsong echoed from the forest as she strolled along the sun-dappled path. The plain dirt path was soon exchanged for a stone paved track through the cedar cathedral. All too soon, she found herself at her place of work.

It had been a hard three years for her. After the rejection of Third Impact, Rei had been forcefully separated from Lilith. She had been given a new body, free from the stigma of Yui Ikari and all angelic indicators, and been told that she needed to learn to live for herself. After this momentous event, she was unceremoniously dropped in Osaka, nude and unconscious in a park.

She stopped her musing of the past as she walked into the caretakers hut for this small shrine on the mountain. Going into the back room of the hut, she shuffled over to a cot in the corner and sat down. Opening her bag, she removed her work clothing and started to change out of her street clothes. One of the things that Rei learned early-on after her rebirth was modesty. It was one of many traits which she had learned the hard way. With no friends, no secret multinational organization looking out for her and no resources, she stumbled her way into a new life. Besides, the Ayanami Rei that was known to all was dead, supposedly gone with the entity known as Lilith. This person looking in the small, cracked mirror was just another inhabitant of the island-nation of Nippon. Black haired, brown eyed, she looked like countless others in this sea of Asian humanity. The only feature carried over from the previous Ayanami was the haunting look of loneliness trapped within her eyes.

Finished with her change of clothing, she walked towards the door, picking up a basket for her cuttings, and a pair of old-fashioned grass shears. As she left the hut she again thought of the one that had been the only person to show her kindness in her short life. She wondered if he still lived, if he had found happiness with another. Maybe with the Second. She shook her head to clear her thoughts as she passed through the door of the hut, and moved towards the left side of the memorial area. The grass had been growing well for this time of year, and she had much to do today. Kneeling down by a stone marking some person she never knew, she started clipping the grass away from the marker. This was serene work; she could trim and think at the same time. It allowed her to learn to function as a human being, and gave her time to reflect upon her past and to gaze upon what might be her future.

As she neatly clipped away the growth from around the ratomba she grimaced at the irony of her fate. From being almost god-like to becoming almost a peasant in this world of post Third Impact. Quite a change, and for the most part, for the better. But a few doubts still lingered in her troubled mind. She was still very much alone in this world. The grim reminder of her past life still mocked her, no more than ten meters away to her right. Her own personal ratomba that some caring soul had placed here to remember her by. She could only think of three people who could have placed that marker: One had been executed for crimes against humanity; another was still serving a long sentence for his part in that fiasco, and the third...

The third,...Third Child... Shinji Ikari. She longed to speak with him. To tell him that he did the right thing, in rejecting Instrumentality. She wished to say so many things to him, now that the leash on her emotions had been cut. She had come back to Hakone to try and find the elusive and shy former Third Child. To try and make an amends of sorts, but her inquiries had been turned away. She was now just another person who had been touched by Shinji during the event, and was seen as just another devotee of the savior of mankind. She left then, not wanting to explain who she was and why she had the appearance she now wore.

She slid her gaze over to the right to take in the sight of her memorial, and was shocked to see a new addition. She could easily read the chiseled kanji on the granite face from where she knelt. She also noted the other characters with the blood-red paint over them.

'You knew,...You knew of my origins, yet you cared not for them. You cared only for me. How I wish I might be able to tell you how I feel now. But it is futile, for I cannot find you to tell you these things that I feel within me. Every day my soul cries from the loneliness that I dwell in, within this existence.'

She paused her clipping of errant tufts of grass, as the tears silently flowed again. Rei had cried many times in these past few years, as she was learning to become a human being. She had experienced many of the emotions that others took for granted. But for the most part, she felt "normal". Not deathly depressed, nor ecstatically joyous, just somewhere in the middle. It was only when she was forcefully reminded of the past that her depression became almost unbearable.

She crushed said depression down into a small black sphere, and shoved it back into the pit where it belonged. Her day was long enough as it was, without this rapacious feeling eating at her psyche. She willed herself to calmness, and then continued on in her task.

But as the calm spread through her mind, she felt something was off-kilter. Just a twinge from her intuition that things were not as they seemed. It was then that she heard the slight scuffing of leather, and the almost silent swish of clothing passing her. She broke her concentration from her task and looked to the right.

She almost screamed.

Standing before her, looking down at the ratomba was Gendo Ikari. He then knelt down and sat in seiza style, and started speaking in a soft voice. A voice she knew all too well. For it was not Gendo before her, but Shinji.

"It has been three years since that awful time in Tokyo-3. I'm glad to say that things have gotten better since the last time I visited you. The sessions with the psychotherapist helped me see what I was doing to myself, and opened my eyes to the changes I needed to make. It's been hard, but I feel like a new person. You probably wouldn't even know me if you could meet me now."

She was amazed at the change in his appearance from what she remembered of him. In these past three years, he had matured well beyond his boyish looks as the pilot of Evangelion Unit-01. His once short hairstyle was now a shining mane of coffee-colored hair, which was tightly bound at the back of his head. The queue cascaded downwards almost to his shoulder blades, lightly lying upon an expensive suit jacket. She took in the details of this new Shinji, like a sponge hungrily absorbing water.

An expensive designer-made grey suit wrapped him in silk, while well crafted brown loafers adorned his feet. He also had wire-rimmed glasses on his now rugged face, quite possibly prescription made. His father had poor eyesight, so possibly the genes were passed on. If he had been wearing white gloves, the resemblance would have been eerie. Rei slightly cocked her head to the side and listened in on his monologue.

"But there are some things that are still keeping me from gaining a sense of closure on this whole mess. Why didn't you come back? Everyone else did. Even that rat-bastard of a non-existent father of mine chose to return! I lay awake at night wondering if I said or did something to keep you from returning."

"I remember the first time we met...as father tried to force you to...pilot Unit-01. I think...NO; I _know _that I felt something for you at that point. And then before the fifth Angel, how we talked before the attack. And after I killed the Angel and thought I had lost you...my heart was frozen in my chest. But then to see you alive, to see you smile for me..."

Her feelings were running rampant through her mind as she bowed her head, thinking back to that wonderful memory. Her heart seemed to expand within her breast at hearing his confession, while her golden-brown eyes slightly glistened with yet to-be shed tears. The feelings of desire and adoration swelled to the bursting point, and she quietly sobbed once, as a lock of her raven-black hair came loose from under her straw hat.

"...After the sixteenth Angel, and finding out that it wasn't _you _in that body, I...I...just felt as though my world ended. I guess what they say is true: a person does not know what they have, until they lose that most important thing to them. Of all the people I wanted back, you were the one that I felt _needed _a second chance, Rei. But it seems that I failed in that, also. I am so sorry, Rei..."

Upon hearing this, Rei's slight smile from reminiscing on her most poignant memory of Shinji turned into a frown.

'I...I cannot tell him. Not yet. I need time to be able to approach him in my new form. As I did not acknowledge you in your new guise, you would not recognize me in mine. Where do you live now, Shinji-kun? How can I contact you? How may I reach out to you? My heart cries out to yours in its loneliness.'

Rei slowly raised her head until she could just see Shinji beyond the brim of her hat. She then watched as Shinji reverently leaned forward until his forehead rested upon the ratomba, his hands clutching grass tufts on either side of the stone. She witnessed his tears falling unabated as he finally broke down and openly wept for her; the person that meant so much to him. She quietly and covertly observed him in his sorrow for almost ten minutes, as his short, racking sobs echoed through the clearing.

'I must do something...I cannot stand to see him in such pain. I will be found out by the UN, sooner or later. My new life has been free from encumbrances of that agency, but I will trade my freedom for the end of his pain.'

Rei started to move towards Shinji, raising her right arm to reach out towards his shoulder. She quickly reversed herself as Shinji lifted himself from the ratomba and sat back on his heels.

"I just wanted to tell you this Rei, because I may not be back for a while. With the help of my psychotherapist, I have finally come to terms with my past, and I am ready to move forward with my life."

'No...Not _now_!'

With her heart clenched within an icy embrace, Rei watched as Shinji then carefully stood, still looking down at the stone. She heard his voice steadying and felt his resolve growing, as she saw him clasp his right hand with his left behind his back. His next words immobilized her body and glaciated her soul.

"I will be moving to the outskirts of Hiroshima-2 and starting college this spring semester. I would have liked to think that we might have been going to school together again, but I guess it was never meant to be."

'I have lost him. I am now veritably dead to the world. Why, Mother? Why would you return me to this existence to finally find myself and to realize what love is, and then have all I have ever wanted cruelly ripped from me? Have I not suffered enough?'

Rei knelt on the cool grass with her face cradled in her hands. Her sobs of despair were just barely held in by her once iron resolve. That resolve cracked and shattered like a glacier calving icebergs in the arctic as she heard Shinji's next words:

"You will _always_ be with me in my heart, Rei. I will never forget you. I love you. Goodbye."

Behind her hands, Rei's eyes snapped open wide in disbelieving shock. As the import of his words finally struck home, her tears flowed freely from her puffy- from- crying brown eyes. Five seconds passed, and then another five before her icy immobility crumbled. She slowly stood up and glimpsed Shinji unhurriedly walking away down the path between the cedars, his hands in his pockets and head slightly bowed as he disappeared into the distance.

As her stuttering sobs racked her body, Rei looked longingly after the only person that ever told her that they loved her.

"Shinji..."

'I cannot let it end this way. He is...is...I don't know what he is right now, but I'm going to find out.'

The old resolve of the former First Child wrapped itself around her thoughts as she calmly dropped her gloves and grass shears. Setting off at a brisk walk, she took a short-cut which led to the tram station; the only way off this portion of the mountain.

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A/N:

In talking with Lord Saturn, I realized he was right. This story needed closure. I could not just leave them there with no explanation of how or why.

And to leave poor Rei like that was just too cruel.

Ozaki Riko page 5 27/02/08


	3. Chapter 3

Decision

Chapter III

By Riko Ozaki

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**Disclaimer:**

The characters portrayed herein are copyrighted to Anno Hideki and Studio Gainax. They are not my creations. If asked, I will pull this prose from the internet if it offends them.

Please excuse any mistakes which I may have made due to syntax and punctuation; English is not my primary language.

Thank you for reading, and please review. It helps me to progress in learning a new language, and prods me to be a better author.

This chapter was pre-read by 94Saturn, Rose1948, and Jintsu.

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Rei increased her pace through the forest to the point where she was running flat-out. Tree branches from low-growing pines slashed at her body as she pitched herself down the mountain towards her destiny. Her sense of premonition pushed her to insane speeds and maneuvers within the forest glen. Using all of her former training in the Evangelions, she vaulted rock outcroppings, slammed into small trees to change direction, and ran full-out for her goal. As sweat poured off her body, she ran straight towards a huge cedar. The path split to both sides of the tree. Shifting her center-of -mass, she stiff-armed the tree. Legs swiftly flying across her firmly planted hands, she deftly pirouetted around the tree, saving her time as the path lead straight-away from said tree.

Painfully gasping for breath, she continued on towards the tram station. Finally intersecting the stone-paved path, she stumbled as her zori sandals were ripped from her feet in her haste to change direction. Rei ignored the pain and reduced traction as she heard a sound that she dreaded.

The tram car was returning to the top of the mountain.

Someone had called for the car for a trip down the mountain.

'No...I will not be denied my meeting with Shinji-kun! Just beyond this last corner is the station. Faster...Faster!!'

Sweat-soaked, torn tabi socks the color of blood; she vaulted the five stairs of the upper terminal and slammed to a stop against the supporting girders at the entrance of the station. She took two deep breaths, and then she heard the sharp trills of the whistle for the tram, indicating that it was leaving. Employing the last of her strength, she slung herself around the pylon and staggered into the tram car.

"Whoa... Let me help you. You really didn't need to be in that much of a hurry; the next car would be here in thirty minutes."

Shinji helped the out-of-breath young woman to a seat, and grabbed a hanging strap while watching her.

'She seemed to be in such a hurry to catch this tram; I wonder why it was so important? MY DEAR LILITH! HER FEET ARE BLEEDING!'

"Are you all right? Your feet are a bleeding mess! Let me help you with..."

Rei looked up at the young man before her and smiled...a true and face-filling smile that reached from ear-to-ear.

'I made it! I'm actually here in an empty tram car with Shinji-kun. But what do I say? '

The glowing smile on her face suddenly dropped to a frown, as she struggled with her emotions.

Shinji saw the transformation of her facial features and slightly backed away from the young woman, thinking that he might have been too forward.

As the car lurched forward towards the bottom of the mountain, Rei saw his reticence and grasped his hands within her own.

"Thank you for helping me. I needed to leave this mountain as soon as possible. Please forgive me for imposing upon you."

Shinji looked down at the hands that had captured his own. He felt a slight tingle and a sense of déjà vu.

'What is it I am feeling? It's almost like _she_ was here. No... She is gone, has been for three years. Just my imagination, wishing that she was back here with me.'

Rei felt something almost like an electric shock as she held his hands in her own.

'Please Mother; give me the strength to finally be able to tell him how I feel. I don't care what he might say in return, I just _need _to say what I could not say back then.'

As if by some outside force, like a positive pole magnet was being drawn by a negative pole magnet, their eyes slowly raised from their linked hands to stare into each others eyes. Brown eyes with golden flecks lock onto Flemish blue orbs.

'WHAT IS THIS!?? She has the same gaze as Ayan...no...sniff...no... there is no one like her! I...I am just confused...'

'Shinji-kun ... koibito...I have waited so long for this. My heart soars with the feelings that are turning me inside-out right now. How do I let you know that I am here now, the old me in a new body? LILITH, HELP ME!! I cannot let him go, now! Not after all I have been through!!!

The tram car creaked and swayed its way down the mountain with two people lost in the eyes of each other. The scenery passing by and the cool winds of the mountain pass had no effect on the pair within the car. For half of the journey down the mountain, they never moved. One pair of disbelieving eyes looked into a pair of expectant and acceptant orbs that were leaking moisture.

"I'm sorry, but why are you crying? ...I feel like I should know you. But that's stupid, I just met you."

For Rei, a flash of memory hit her, almost like the detonation of the N-2 mine which she deployed unsuccessfully against the Sixteenth Angel.

She remembered Shinji in the open hatch of her entry plug after the battle with the Fifth Angel, Ramiel. She remembered his words to her as he regarded her with tears in his eyes as she lay in her half-submerged seat in the entry plug.

Don't ever say that...Just don't say that you have nothing else. Just don't say that! And just don't say goodbye when you leave on a mission, it's just too sad!

She remembered her words to him, and with a prayer cupping her heart, she recited the words she spoke over four years ago:

"I'm very sorry, I..I don't know what I should do or feel at a time like this...

Her words froze him in shock.

'That was what Ayanami...No one else knew what was said between us!! Can this be?? Could this be? Oh please, let it be true….'

"Rei...?"

"Yes, Shinji, it's me."

"REI!!!"

Shinji engulfed his one-time comrade in a rib-cracking hug as his own eyes released tears of happiness. Rei, for her part, wrapped her arms around him and clutched handfuls of his jacket; as if holding on for dear life. The emotional release from finding the one that they love is so powerful that all they can do is smile stupidly at each other. Each look into the others eyes to see themselves reflected therein.

"Rei, I thought you were dead! I couldn't find you after Third Impact and thought that Lilith took you with her...I...I...I'm so glad that I found you! I have been so torn-up about..."

"Shhhh...I know, koibito. I too have had my heart crushed by the thought that you might be gone. But then, I found out that you were still alive. I tried to go to you, but no one would tell me anything about you. I was afraid that if I told the authorities who I was, they would lock me in a room and interrogate and test me to death because of my new body. I was..."

"Yeah, what about this new look of yours?" Shinji asked, as he moved his hands from her waist to her shoulders, lovingly cupping them from behind. With a gentle smile he softly kneaded the tight muscles of her shoulders while peering into her now-normal eyes. Feeling that she was starting to tremble and shake, he guided her to one of the bench seats behind her, and helped her sit down.

Rei felt the love and concern that radiated from Shinji as she clung to him with an iron grip. She really did not want to be separated from him, even this small amount. But she could feel the exhaustion catching-up with her from her mad dash down the mountain. She let herself be guided to a seat and sat down, releasing her grip on his jacket and exchanging it for reaching upwards for his hands. Lightly taking his hands in hers, she brought them down to rest on her knees. Taking a deep breath, she gathered her scattered wits, and raised her head to gaze directly into Shinji's eyes.

"This is the body that Lilith gifted me with after you made your decision about Third Impact," Rei quietly stated.

"She looked within my mind and saw the emotional wasteland that was my soul. She told me that I needed to learn to live for myself and be a human being in body, mind, and soul. She then transferred my essence into a new shell. One that had no trace of herself or of your mother. After that, I passed-out. When I awoke, I was in a public park in Osaka, as bare as the day I had been originally created. So I guess you could say that I am only three years old."

Shinji has listened carefully to her all the way to this point. During her discourse his face reflected his emotions as she revealed her new genesis. Surprise, sadness, happiness, disbelief, shock, and incredulity were clearly displayed as she went from point-to-point. As she finished her narration of her new creation, Shinji again gathered her up into a warm embrace. Sitting side-by-side, he slowly and lightly pulled her towards his shoulder, and then hung his chin over her left shoulder. Deeply inhaling her warm, fragrant scent, he sighed in contentment.

Eyes closed, he softly stated, "So you are now completely human. I guess Lilith did listen to my thoughts and prayers. I had wished that for you when I was in Instrumentality, Rei. I figured, out of all of us, you deserved the chance to get another opportunity at life."

With a wicked little smile on her face, and a gleam in her eyes that Shinji could not see, she crushed down on his hands and said in a sarcastic tone:

"Gee...thank you for the cramps that I have to endure every month, Ikari!"

Immediately he shoved her away from himself, holding her at arms-length. His shocked expression was locked into his visage as he searched her face for the anger he thought he sensed. Seeing the smug expression on her face, he relaxed somewhat from the normal "Shinji Shock" that he had experienced when he was living at the Katsuragi household. After reaching the age of seventeen, he finally had been able to realize when people were screwing with his head. Even so, this is something totally different. This is Ayanami Rei that had said this. All of his former data upon the First Child was now brought into question. Or actually, this conversation itself was the weird one. The epiphany then hit him with the force of an Eva's backhanded slap.

This is a new person. She had the memories of Ayanami Rei, but the living of her life as a normal person had made a sea change in the person who now sat beside him in this tram car. She was and was not the person he knew. But he could see enough of the old Rei to quiet his fears. Besides, he _liked _this new Rei. She was so much more...alive than the previous incarnation. And if what she said was true...

Rei looked at Shinji's face and could see the war that was progressing in his mind. She waited for the storm of thoughts to calm and give her an opening to speak her mind. As she watched, she saw a hopeful expression wash over his features. With her last comment in mind, and seeing this last timid hope written large upon his person, she felt her heart luxuriating in the feelings of desire and love. Taking a guess at his feelings from what she said and from what she saw upon his visage, she said with a coy voice:

"I no longer have an S-2 organ replacing my womb. I am fully human now, Shinji. I can even bear...sniff...children, now. But only if they were _your_ children." 1

The hopeful look on Shinji's face froze as Rei uttered those last words. Even though three years had passed and he had to deal with the final blooming of the Second Child, he was still somewhat gun-shy on the subject of sex. Obviously, the woman in front of him had matured at a much faster rate than himself.

'Suck it up! This is the person that you had loved from the first time you saw her. If she wants to give you children, can you _not_ accept that? Piss on the running-away shit! Stand-up for the first time in your life! Didn't you buy a tombstone with your name engraved on it to signify your love for her?'

At this point, Rei made a strategic move: She released Shinji's hands and slightly stood up. She then moved over to his lap and sat down square upon his lap, her knees planted in the crack between the backrest and the seat pad. Slipping her left arm around his back and pressing him tightly against her breasts, she raised her right arm towards his face. She then softly caressed the left side of his face with her upraised right hand.

"You are mine, Ikari Shinji. From the first time that you held me, I knew that there was something special about you. And no, it was not your mother's genes that induced me to feel that way. It was my own feelings, no matter how small or fleeting at the time, that I had. Then when you forced your way into my entry plug after the attack of Ramiel, the Fifth Angel. How you burned your hands to gain entry to the plug and to make sure of my survival. I saw at that time the parallel of you and the Commander, but you honestly cared for me, with no expectation of the feeling to be reciprocated. I want to tell you now, koibito; no one has ever cared for me as you have. I have given my life for you; I think that should say enough of my feelings for you. But if that is not enough, let me "say" this."

As Shinji sat on the bench seat with a fragrant bundle of womanhood clasped to his chest, raptly listening to her affirmation of her love for him, he watched as she slowly but firmly moved her head closer to his. Her gaze enraptured him as she slowly but insistently pressed her lips against his.

Shinji then took his stunned hands and lightly cupped the face of his only love.

The spooning pair was so enraptured in their love for each other that their arrival at the foot of the mountain went unnoticed. That is until other passengers entered the small cabin of the tram car.

The clapping of multiple hands awakened the lovers to their new reality. Both of them were slightly flushed and warm from their shared intimacy. But there was no embarrassment or shame on their features. Instead, there was an expression of caring and love; as if these new-found lovers had been together for many decades. They gracefully stood up from their loving embrace, and left the small cabin for the larger outside world.

Standing in the brilliant sunlight that splashed over the area of the exit terminal, Rei looked up to the eyes of her beloved and asked:

"Where do we go from here, Shinji-kun?"

Letting go of her hands, Shinji leaned down and grasped Rei under her thighs with his left arm, while cradling her upper body with his right arm. Standing erect with her in his arms, he spun around in a full circle, a smile as large as the world plastered on his face.

"You are coming with me to Hiroshima-2!"

He leaned his head in close to her ear and whispered:

"To hell with NERV, the UN, college, and the world! I found my reason for living, and I won't let go of her for any of them! Rich or poor, living in a mansion or a cardboard box on the streets of Kyoto, I don't care, as long as you are with me. Are you ready for the rest of your life with me, miss?"

"I don't care where we live, as long as it is together. I have been alone for all of my life. I no longer wish to be alone. Please defend me from these feelings of loneliness."

Spinning around in a full circle again, Ikari Shinji stated with all of his heart:

"You will never be lonely again, as long as it is within my power, Rei."

As the two lovers slowly make their way down the rest of the mountain, at the top, there has been a change.

For some strange, inexplicable reason, the clothing bag that held Rei's street clothing suddenly disappeared. Additionally to that, all memory of the former gardener on Mount Futago seemed to have been fogged-over, or forgotten. The last thing was in a small glen, surrounded by a cedar forest.

The rantoba and new headstone for a certain female personage started to twist and distort, as if it were a heat mirage. Seconds later, there was no marker or stone; the grass was a uniform plain that had yet to have the hand of man defile it.

As a shaft of sunlight danced on the former remembrance site, there was the tinkling of wind chimes and children's laughter, which then tapered off into silence.

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Author's Notes:

Koibito- the one you are in love with.

1- A small homage to Washu, from Tenchi Muyo! Episode 8, Hello Baby.

This was a very emotional story for me to tell. I sat back from my CRT and cried. It hurt me. It made me feel joyous. It made me feel envious of the characters which I wrote about. The story _made_ me bare my soul to you, my readers.

I hope that I have not sullied the characters of the persons that I have portrayed here.

Thank you for reading my poor bit of prose dedicated to the world of _Shin Seiki Evangelion._

Arigatou gozaimasu

LORD SATURN, YOU OWE ME ONE! THIS WAS TOO MUCH LIKE WORK!

**Yes dear, he he….We all need a little push now and then to aspire to our full potential and thanks for your help, also. **

**Lord Saturn bows quite low in apology.**

Also, thank you Rose for your time and effort in helping me with these chapters.

And thank you, Jintsu, for a couple of your ideas and for pre-reading this for me.

Ozaki Riko Page 9 08/03/08 10:36:30 JST


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